Do You Feel Seen and Heard?

As highly sensitive folx, whether we work in the helping professions or not, we’re typically good at showing up for others. We notice when someone is struggling, we offer presence when things are hard for others, and we listen from the heart when someone is sharing. 

We get how important it is to feel seen and heard as who we are at our core. And we give this gift to others. 

We know this requires effort, and we’re glad to do it, because it’s what brings meaning to our life. It's the superpower that allows us to make a difference in the world, one person at a time. 

What most highly sensitives don’t talk about, is that this gift is not often reciprocated - not in the way that we would like, and not as consistently as we need. 

It can be a source of sadness and loneliness for us. It can make us feel tired and depleted. 

But we keep giving, because it’s who we are, and eventually it will lead to receiving, right? Isn’t that how karma works? We just have to be patient?

Sure, another part of us says, go ahead and be patient. Or, you could just stop being so needy and get used to the way things are. Besides, deep down you know what the real problem is, and everyone else knows it too: you’re just not deserving of the good stuff. 

(Take a moment to check in with your body here. I’m voicing the inner critic, of course. But there’s another part of us that is at the receiving end of these words. Did you feel a twinge of recognition in your chest maybe? Or in the pit of your stomach? Send some love there.)

Chances are, your rational self knows that you deserve nurturing and attention. But a small part of you isn’t so sure. It’s a part of you that isn’t used to attention. It has learned to hide. 

So, to this part of you I say: 

I have some bad news: Unfortunately, working hard to show up for others does not mean they will show up for you. Others are busy surviving. 

How you feel nurtured, and seen and heard, is by NOT leaving this important job to others, who may or may not have the wherewithal to give this to you. 

The good news is that you can give the good stuff to yourself. 

The good news is that you are the one who knows better than anyone else what you need and how you need to be nurtured. 

The good news is that you GET to be taken care of by the person who knows you best, and who happens to be great at this: YOU.

As hsp’s we are well aware that humans need and deserve nurturing and attention. What many don’t know - or we forget and need frequent reminding - is this: 

To feel seen and heard, we need to start by giving this gift to ourselves. 

Once we feel seen and heard, it’s easier to let go of our worries and start showing up in the world in a way that allows others to see and hear us, too. 

It’s kind of miraculous. And there’s more.

Once we start looking inside and really paying attention regularly - as much as we need - we will find there’s so much more to us than we ever show to the world. 

Once the hiding parts start peeking out to see what all the fuss is about, they realize that even they are invited to the party. 

That’s where the joy is. 

And that’s where art comes in for me: Art is the space I make available for the hiding parts of me to come out and play. They’re jumping up and down because they finally feel good enough to be seen, not just by me, but by the world around me. 

Does this resonate with you? Do you have hiding parts who don’t get to come out and play? Would you like to set them free?  

Drop me a line to let me know. It truly makes my day to hear back from you. So please, keep it coming. Also, if you know anyone who could benefit from receiving these messages, please forward this email on to them. I want to inspire more people to live a more joyful, creative life. 

With love and support,

Mary B. 

P.S. If you want to learn how to set the hiding parts of you free, get on the waitlist for my group program The Art of Joy here: www.marybrutsaert.com/services or simply reply to this email. This is a small group experience. Spots are limited. 

P.P.S. To those of you who have already signed up to my waitlist, I’m so excited! When registration opens, you’ll get a chance to sign up before anyone else.