Pushing Through Is Out of Style
I’ll let you in on a secret. Writing these newsletters is a challenge.
There’s a part of me that didn’t have a voice for a very long time. Another part of me feels an urgency to finally say All The Things, and to say them Right.
It’s a lot of pressure. And it gets overwhelming.
Do you have an urgent part like that? A part that tells you, “Just get it done. I don’t care if you’re overwhelmed or tired.”
If you grew up in the West, chances are this sounds all too familiar. “Pushing through” has become a collective western survival mechanism. When the nervous system joins forces with the cultural value of Productivity, we don’t stand a chance.
And yet.
Do you have a sense that the culture has been shifting away from this value, especially since the pandemic? I certainly do. Let’s help the culture along.
Putting pressure on ourselves and others is not kind. Ironically, it’s counterproductive.
Routinely pushing through our natural limits - whether emotional or physical - erodes our health. It disconnects us from our lived experience in the moment.
And it blocks access to the physiological states that actually allow our natural energy resources to flow freely.
When we speak or act from the heart, our energy is there to meet us.
When we push through, we dip into our energy reserves. And we will deplete ourselves.
It’s not rocket science. But we need lots of reminders that the old ways of doing things are no longer viable. So, let me remind myself why I write these newsletters.
I write because I'm grateful I found my voice, and I’m grateful to have the opportunity to speak it.
I write to share about the joy that comes from letting go of habitual fear-based survival responses to life, and from embracing my authentic self more and more.
I write to invite all of you along on this journey of radical self-acceptance.
It’s a bumpy road. We need each other for support and encouragement.
So, I’m backing off of pushing through to write these newsletters.
Instead, I’m trying out an approach I’ve been using intuitively in my painting practice.
The alternative to pushing through is an approach called Little and Often.
It’s a phrase coined by inspirational painter and founder of Art2Life, Nicholas Wilton. I didn’t realize what a brilliant thing this was until he put it into words.
For years now, I’ve been painting 20 minutes here, an hour there. In between therapy sessions with clients I will step over to my painting desk and make an area that’s too light a little darker, or an area that’s too saturated a little more muddy. If I find a painting too dull, I’ll make a dramatic mark that will give me lots of juice to move forward.
It’s great. Any mark completely changes a painting and invites another move. Call and response - another phrase often used by Nicholas Wilton (yes, he’s kind of my abstract painting guru).
So, rather than writing for hours on end, I’m applying the little and often approach. It’s feeling a lot better.
Also, I’m taking a short break from newsletter writing. I am visiting my family in Belgium and using this time to unplug.
Is there something in your life that is overwhelming, or that you are putting too much pressure on yourself about? Do you routinely push through discomfort? Could you apply the approach of little and often? I would love to know.
P.S. Great news: A date has been set for The Art of Joy: Create A Daily Practice That Will Transform and Sustain You. The first live group call will take place on Wednesday, August 16, from 9-10:30 am Pacific Time. You can find the latest details here: https://www.marybrutsaert.com/services. Sign up to the waitlist by replying to this email.
P.P.S. I’ve been busy tweaking my program to make it even more nurturing and accessible. It’s now a sweet 6 weeks long and consists entirely of experiential learning. No dense video content to digest, no overwhelming homework assignments. Just:
a daily practice as an ongoing tool to explore and nurture yourself,
a weekly live group call with time to turn inward and time to share in community, and
unlimited access to me, to ask me any questions that come up during your daily practice, which I will answer asynchronously through video once a week.
I will share more about it when I come back in July.
P.P.P.S. If you’ve missed any of my past newsletters and you’re curious to read more, you can find them all here: https://www.marybrutsaert.com/50joysnewsletter.
