What’s The Big Deal About a Daily Practice?
Meditation, breathing exercises, a gratitude journal, a sketchbook journal, yoga, forest bathing, hiking, ... I’ve known for years that a daily mindfulness check-in of some sort helps me feel more connected, less anxious, and generally more content.
It’s taken me a bit longer to realize is this:
The power of a daily practice is that you do it every day.
OK?
Every single day.
You mean even on the days when we have zero motivation and we just can’t be bothered?
Yes. Even on those days. Especially on those days. In fact, I will go as far as to say this:
When it comes to a daily practice, the hard days count double.
And it goes both ways:
If we can notice our resistance and then do it anyway, the message we are sending ourselves is, “I am worth the effort.”
If we skip these days, we are telling ourselves that our needs and desires are not that important after all.
The messages we send ourselves all throughout the day have an enormous impact on our wellbeing. They are worth paying attention to. And being intentional about.
On the days when we feel off and blah, we are more likely to slide back into old coping mechanisms. We might be irritable and annoyed with others. Or we shut down and turn inward. In either case, the thoughts that go along with these are messages of judgment, blame, and shame pushing us further down the spiral - “This is messed up. It’s all your fault. I have to make it stop.” Or, “This is messed up. It’s all my fault. I’ll never be OK again.”
Even if we’re aware enough to notice these old patterns and are able to jump off the downward spiral, even then the idea of observing our thoughts or counting our breaths may seem absurd.
“You know how you can really take care of yourself? By doing nothing at all. What’s the harm? It’s just one day.”
This is the voice of what Nancy Jane Smith calls your “fake best friend.” They don't care about what you really want or need. They just want you to watch Netflix with them all day.
So, how can we be our own best friend? How can we build a daily practice that feels nurturing and sustainable - a practice that accounts for those difficult days?
By being clear about why we’re doing it.
By keeping it short and sweet.
What’s your WHY? How do you feel in your life today? How do you want to feel?
Maybe you feel tired and disconnected and lonely. Maybe you want to feel more energized and present so that you can be more intentional about how you show up for yourself and others. (OK, that’s my why. What’s yours?)
Once you know your why, picking a practice is not so hard. There are a million wonderful Mindfulness practices to experiment with. They’re all aimed at training your brain to slow down enough to pay attention to something (an object, your breath, your thoughts, body sensations or movements, etc.) without judgment.
Pick one that’s simple, short, and that you’re actually curious about.
“What if I write down 3 things that lit me up that day?”
“What if I send compassion for 3 things that didn’t go as I had hoped that day?”
OK, that takes about 3 minutes, maybe 5.
That’s all it is. We can always do more, but we want to account for the difficult days.
The main thing is that we spend a few focused, high-quality minutes with ourselves each day.
What if I feel like quitting every day?
Be extra gentle with yourself. Be curious about what it is that’s so off-putting and find something that’s more supportive, more relaxing, more fun. Maybe write down 3 encouraging messages you need to hear that day. But keep going.
Doing something just because we made a commitment to ourselves is how we break with old, unhelpful patterns.
Breaking old, unhelpful patterns is liberating and so worth it.
What I’ve realized over the years is that sticking to a daily practice is not just about training our brain to learn the valuable skills of NOTICING and ALLOWING whatever we find. These skills are nothing short of life-changing.
Keeping up with a daily practice also comes with built-in opportunities to handle obstacles and resistance - our main causes of stuckness in life.
All of that, in 5 minutes a day?
Yes. That’s what the big deal is.
We keep going. Not willy nilly. Not by pushing through. We are not putting our inner perfectionist in charge of this task.
We keep going by showing up each day with the willingness to notice what’s there. If ease is what we find that day: great. If resistance is what we find: also fine. The only difference is that we’ll need some extra encouragement on the hard days. And so we can choose to give that to ourselves, whenever we need it, with love and compassion.
I would love to know: Do you have a daily practice? Do you have a “fake best friend” luring you away from it? Or is your inner perfectionist calling the shots and ruining all the fun?
Drop me a line to let me know. It truly makes my day to hear back from you. So please, keep it coming. Also, if you know anyone who could benefit from receiving these messages, please forward this email on to them. I want to inspire more people to live a more joyful, creative life.
Warmly,
Mary B.
P.S. If you want to work with me, you can get on the waitlist for The Art of Joy here: www.marybrutsaert.com/services or simply reply to this email. This is a small group experience. Spots are limited.
P.P.S. To those of you who have already signed up to my waitlist, I’m so excited! When registration opens, you’ll get a chance to sign up before anyone else.
P.P.P.S. If you missed my 3/27/23 newsletter about my 100-day practice and the resistance that came up with it, you can read about it here: https://www.marybrutsaert.com/50joysnewsletter/follow-the-breadcrumbs
P.P.P.P.S. OK, I’m going crazy with the P.S.’s, but if you’re curious about seeing some of my sketchbook pages and the daily messages I send myself (and others), check out my Instagram page: https://www.instagram.com/marybrutsaert/
