Do You Belong?

Two weeks ago, at the San Francisco MOMA, I had a profound experience. (If you missed my last newsletter, you can read about it here.)

I felt like I belonged. 

It moved me. 

And it shook me.

Coming back to Corvallis, I asked myself, Do I belong here?

That, too, took me by surprise. 

I left my home country 20+ years ago and I've been an outsider ever since.

I’m used to it. I don’t mind it. It helps me be more me.

Being different makes it easier to see yourself. It makes it harder to hide.

It’s been like a science experiment. Moving again and again and seeing how I respond to each new environment. Taking bits and pieces with me to the next, and leaving others. 

Over time, belonging becomes less about a place or how many people you know.

Over time, belonging is more like a collection of experiences hand picked by you. People and things and activities that light you up. That you carry with you wherever you go.

Once upon a time, I fit in so well, I didn’t know where I ended and where my environment began. 

Now, I’m not sure if I really fit anywhere. But I see myself more and I allow myself to be seen.

And so each new place is a little more me because it’s seen through my eyes. It’s colored by my experiences. And, most of all, I show up in it.

That’s how I belong more and more. 

I have my MOMA experience now. It belongs to me and I belong to it. 

Do I belong in Corvallis, Oregon? 

I don’t know. 

But I do know this:

I belong to nature. I belong to wildflowers and crooked madrones and tall grasses as far as the eye can see. 

I belong to the crack of dawn and the golden hour, and that spot right in between.

I belong to structure and predictability primed for sudden bursts of wonder.

I belong to feeling at all cost.

I belong to the sun and the sky. 

I belong to light and color. 

I belong to dipping a brush in paint and moving it across the page. Again and again and again. 

I belong to putting one foot in front of the other.

I belong to beauty that’s not pretty. 

I belong to my body. 

I belong to family and community. 

I belong to the other. 

I belong to kindness and compassion and radical acceptance.

I belong to noticing and listening.

I belong to reassurance and encouragement. 

I belong to joy and creativity.

I belong to women and artists and helpers. 

I belong to humanity. 

I belong to me.

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What do you belong to? How do your surroundings reflect who you are? How can you bring more of you into your environment? Use this as a journal prompt, or better yet, drop me a line to let me know. It truly makes my day to hear back from you. Also, if you know anyone who would find my newsletters supportive, please forward this email on to them. I want to inspire more people to live a more joyful, creative life. 

With love and support,

Mary B. 

P.S. Our next Journal Doodle Circle is this Wednesday. It’s an intentional space for practicing the life-giving skills of noticing and listening within and being open to WHAT ELSE is wanting our attention. Join any time. We’d love to have you. To ask a question, hit reply to this email or click here. 

P.P.S. If you’re local, stop by my office at the Benton Plaza and share your thoughts the slow, old-fashioned way on my community wall. There’s a new prompt. “I belong to…”