Why 50 Joys?
“Clean sheets, the smell of spring in the air, a smile on my daughter’s face…” That’s how a grief group participant started their list of 50 joys. It was a homework assignment we had come up with for the hospice grief group, but I wasn’t too sure about it. Asking a grieving person to list so many joys? Wasn’t that almost cruel? When this group member read out their long list of big and small things that could still bring a smile to their face, something shifted in me. I found myself taking a deeper breath, I felt my chest open and expand, and my shoulders came down an inch. That was the first time I consciously noticed how just hearing about someone else’s joy directly affected my body, and my entire state of mind. It was powerful. That’s what prompted me to become curious about somatic work and to start incorporating it into my practice. To this day, this approach continues to be powerful for me and my clients. As for the grief group, needless to say, coming up with a list of 50 joys was never the point. The point is that even in our darkest days, joy is out there. It is accessible to us, if we are ready and willing to pay attention.
That’s the story behind why I chose the name 50 Joys Counseling LLC for my practice. Since leaving hospice I have built a private practice as a trauma-focused therapist, work that allows me to keep learning and gaining insight into what brings healing and growth for my clients and myself. What I find is that the single most powerful skill to hone is that of noticing - noticing how things affect us by paying attention to our feelings, body sensations, thoughts, moods, etc. While in therapy we spend much time noticing what brings discomfort, it is just as important to pay attention to what brings joy. The small things that bring you joy contain meaningful information about what makes you uniquely YOU. Once we start following the breadcrumbs of both our griefs and our joys, we find our way to a more authentic life.
This brings me to some exciting news I would like to share with you. I am developing a new group. The working title is Reclaim Your Creativity. It is an online group offered to anyone who identifies as a healer and is interested in living a more authentic and creative life. To find out all the details and to sign up to the waitlist please check out my website here.
This group contains all the topics and issues I am most passionate about: living authentically, radical self-acceptance, joy, creativity, and honoring our boundaries. Of course, I wouldn’t be a therapist if I was not equally interested in the shadow side of these aspirations. Some of the parts that are afraid to let us have all of this goodness are: our Perfectionist, our “Good Kid,” Guilt, Shame, and our Inner Critic. And when these parts call the shots, resentment is not far behind.
You can expect to hear more about these topics in my 50 Joys Newsletter, which I plan to send out on a more regular basis. The newsletter will also serve as a way to keep you informed of starting dates for my group.
Lastly, if you have a Burning Question, or would like to share about how any of the above issues are showing up in your life, I would love to hear from you. Who knows, your question/story may just be featured in an upcoming newsletter.
Sending much warmth,
Mary B.
PS: To be added to the waitlist for my group Reclaim Your Creativity click here.
