It’s Time To Celebrate Yourself

It’s graduation season. 

As a mother of 4, not many years go by without some momentous celebration or other. 

Yesterday, my second daughter graduated from college. 

She’s known she wants to be a doctor since elementary school. 

How? 

No idea. She just knew. 

And she knew in order to get there she would have to get good grades and also be serious about pursuing extracurriculars. 

She’s done that. Unwaveringly. 

As I was expressing my admiration for her steadfastness yesterday, she said, 

“I had no choice, Mom.”

Of course she did. She made the choice every day to keep going for what she wants.

She takes after her Dad. 

Then there’s my oldest. 

She’s every bit as intelligent as her sister. 

She had no idea what she wanted to be when she started college. She switched colleges after 1 semester, changed majors and minors four or five times, had a crisis of conscience around week 3 of every single term - “Why am I doing this to myself? What’s the point? This isn’t living.”

She takes after her Mom. 

And she made it too. She got the piece of paper, but chose not to walk up to a podium under loud cheers to receive it. She chose to let the day go by as any other.

Yesterday, daughter number 2 told us where to be, at what time, what to bring, what not to say to whom, when to take pictures, how loudly to cheer… 

They’re different, my two girls.

I’m proud of both, of course.

They’re each finding their way. 

One way involves a lot of clarity, hard work, and the ability to face obstacles head on. This daughter happens to be neurotypical.

The other way involves a lot of confusion and doubt. And it develops a willingness to learn patience and flexibility and to allow uncertainty and imperfection as necessary parts of life. This daughter is neurodivergent.

In a way, being neurotypical just means that the world was set up for you to thrive in. There’s a clear path forward that you can envision for yourself. And then it’s up to you to work hard to get there.

It’s not easy. But it’s more clear. And it’s easier to trust yourself. 

Being neurodivergent often feels like the world wasn’t made for you. The beaten path is not appealing, so it’s up to you to either go against your nature and follow it anyway, or to forge your own unique path, with many treacherous ups and downs, detours, and dead-ends. 

Your path will probably involve a mix of both. Either way, if you’re neurodivergent, your single biggest obstacle will be self-doubt - overcoming the belief that there’s something wrong with you, that the good stuff is not available to you. 

There isn’t. And it is. 

If you’re neurodivergent, chances are, you’re taking the long way. 

So what if we made it a little more fun?

My way to make it fun is, you guessed it: abstract painting. 

Abstract painting doesn’t require a vision. There’s no clear idea of what the final product will look like. 

But there is a feeling. 

It’s a mix of curiosity, gratitude, and trust.

I keep painting, adding colors and shapes and lines, covering up what’s there, building up layers, scratching or rubbing them away, until the different elements start singing together.

That’s the magic moment. 

It’s the moment when what I see starts matching the feeling inside. 

It’s a recognition. A belonging. 

The vision appears only when I see it before me. 

What if we trusted ourselves to find our way as we go in life? Resolutely going with the things that light us up? Unwaveringly going toward a thing we don’t know until it materializes before us?

It’s radical.

What if the world depends on those who are neurodivergent to show us a radically different way of being in the world? 

I believe it does. 

What if art and creative expression are there to show us the way?

I believe they are. 

Neurodivergents, it’s time to celebrate ourselves for bravely forging our way. 

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Are you neurodivergent? How have you been forced to take a radically different approach in your life? How is creative expression helping you? How are you celebrating yourself? Use this as a journal prompt, or better yet, drop me a line to let me know. It truly makes my day to hear back from you. Also, if you know someone who is highly sensitive, neurodivergent, an artist (or all three), please forward this email to them. I guarantee they need reminders of why it’s so important to keep forging their path in their own unique way. We forget. I want to remind them, as I remind myself: the world needs us. 

With love and support,

Mary B. 

P.S. The Journal Doodle Circle is taking a break for the summer. 

P.P.S. Newsletters will be less frequent during the summer as well. Time to hit pause and recharge. I hope you have a chance to do the same.