Growing the Good to Deal With the Bad

There’s this journal I’ve had for almost twenty years. It’s a tall spiral notebook, lined, in four different colors. There’s a yellow section, a green, a red, and a blue section. 

I loved it as soon as I saw it. It was simple but pretty. And it had room for lots of words. 

I bought it at a Target in Phoenix, Arizona, when I had 2 little kids at home and I wanted to be a writer.

I used it for story ideas, random thoughts, and quotes, but it never got filled up. It saw lots of starts and stops over the years, and it moved with me to Highland Park, New Jersey, Gainesville, Florida, and finally Corvallis, Oregon.

The writing didn’t pan out either.

I never even called myself a writer, even though writing was what I spent a lot of my time doing for years. 

There was a finished novel that got sent to some publishing houses. But it was rejected. (It’s now sitting on a flash drive somewhere. I’m not even sure I still have it.)

But that’s not the point. 

I loved writing. It helped me connect to myself when so much of me was spent taking care of little ones. (I had 2 more along the way, as many of you know.)

Writing was a life line. 

Yes, the rejection did me in. I didn’t realize it is a normal part of putting your work out there. That it’s not a reason to stop. 

The point is that I’m so glad I spent that time writing. 

It was my dream. I believed in it. And I pursued it. 

That’s what I could do and I did it. 

I really don’t care now whether my writing was any good. And I don't mind that it ended when it did and how it did.

I don’t write fiction any more, but I still have the journal. There’s still room for more words. 

It’s sitting on my nightstand right now, repurposed as a gratitude’s journal.

As I was looking through it the other day, I was struck by a quote I wrote down by neuropsychologist Rick Hanson: 

“We grow the good to deal with the bad.” 

I had no recollection of ever writing it down, but it felt profound to me. 

It sums up in a few words what I now so strongly believe we have the power to do in this life. 

When the world feels drab, we can see its beauty, pay attention to it, go looking for it. 

When the world feels broken, we can remember its potential. We can connect to our own dreams and ideas of how it could be better, and share it. 

That’s what journaling is all about for me. Collecting the bits and pieces of wonder and confusion, frustration and conviction. 

It’s what abstract painting is about. Adding colors and shapes, layer upon layer, until what I see matches what I feel deep inside. 

It’s what writing this newsletter is about. Sharing the things that inspire me and make me hopeful and joyful.

Even though my younger self didn’t quite get the quote the way I get it now, I knew enough to notice it and write it down. 

I wrote it down, watered it, put it in the sun, and grew it. 

And I'm so grateful it did. 

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How about you? What’s your way of growing the good to deal with the bad? Is it something small and quiet you treasure in a stolen moment? Wonderful. And also, I hope you’ll consider making it slightly larger and louder. I hope you’ll consider sharing it. The world needs to hear your voice. Maybe you’ll start by telling me. I’d love to hear about it. It truly makes my day to connect with you.