Are You Ready To Do Something Radical?
Hi there,
When I was in my twenties looking ahead at the ripe old age of 30, I told myself, “If I don’t have things figured out by then I may as well pack it in.” Looking back as I have now rounded the cape of 50, I realize I did kind of “pack it in” at 30. I became depressed. I would alternate between frantically trying to change my circumstances - “If you don’t do it, nobody will.” - and throwing my hands up in defeat - “What’s the point?”
Does this sound familiar - even though your thinking has maybe lost the dramatic flair of your teens and twenties? That back and forth between the urgency to stay on top of things on the one hand, and feeling exhausted, unmotivated and “done” on the other. With very little reprieve in between.
These are the two most common ways in which our survival brain tries to help us to be OK when things are difficult. And they often do bring momentary relief. Even hopelessness brings the temporary comfort of not having to try anymore. Unfortunately, these strategies do not bring lasting relief. They do not bring us anywhere near those expansive states of ease and joy.
Stepping out of our habitual ways of coping and rising above survival mode requires a radically different approach. One that takes each moment as it comes - without judging it against what it should be or what we would like it to be or what we could make it to be if we just tweaked it a little. It’s a simple approach to life yet one that takes incredible courage and commitment.
When I say radically different, I’m talking about more than finding a couple of minutes here and there to “be present” - which is certainly a great place to start! What I mean is having the willingness to notice even when things are difficult and everything in us wants to do what we always do: push through, push down, or push aside.
When we remain present for those moments and we notice, with curiosity, our habitual survival responses to them, we can start to question them, realize they are not aligned with our core values, and let go of them, one moment at a time.
Life is a creative process. The more willing we are to actively engage with each moment exactly as it is, and the more we can align our response with who we are at our core, the more our life becomes as we desire it to be. That’s where the joy comes in.
Start today. Be curious about your world and your habitual responses to it. I started doing it for that 14 year-old part of me who didn’t think life was all it was cracked up to be. What part of you needs your radical courage today?
In my upcoming group, which has been renamed (yet again!) The Art of Joy: Build a Daily Practice That Will Sustain You For Life, I provide many opportunities to engage with the present moment with curiosity, so that you too can start cultivating the person you are at your core, when you are not so busy surviving.
As always, if you have a Burning Question, or would like to share about how any of the above issues are showing up in your life, reply to this email. I read all emails personally and I would love to hear from you.
Warmly,
Mary B.
P.S. I have been updating my website about my group The Art Of Joy. It’s taking shape! Find all the details here or sign up to be on my waitlist here.
