Are You a Good Listener?

Do people tell you you’re a good listener? Do they tell you they feel seen and heard by you? 

It’s a beautiful gift to be able to give to someone. 

When we feel seen and heard and accepted in our most vulnerable moments, we can step into a bigger version of ourselves. 

That’s where we heal. That’s where we soar.

I wonder, though, do you give this gift to yourself? 

Do you nurture that most intimate of relationships - the one you have with yourself?

It’s not something that’s often talked about. 

It’s either assumed that we all do it and we’re good. No help needed, thank you. Or we bulk at the idea and dismiss it as “ridiculous and self-absorbed.”  

Where do you stand on this? 

Chances are, if you’ve tried it, you know that truly building a nurturing relationship with yourself is no easy feat.

It requires learning and practicing an entirely new way of listening. 

It’s a way of listening that is willing to hear the chatter in our heads, feel the fear or aversion in our hearts, and stay with the discomfort in our bodies. 

When there’s unpleasantness, everything in us wants to

• try to figure it out and fix it, or

• run for the hills and pretend it’s not there, or 

• throw our hands up and say, “Forget it. It’s never going to change.” 

There’s a different way to deal with discomfort. 

One that involves noticing it, naming it, and allowing it to be what it is - not because we like it, not because we deem it “acceptable,” but because it is our reality. 

Once we see and allow our loneliness, upset, frustration, overwhelm, there’s a letting go. There’s a relief. A knowing that there's nothing wrong with us for feeling uncomfortable. There’s nothing we need to do to change or fix ourselves or the situation. We can just be. 

This simple practice has helped me turn my life around, from mostly not OK, to mostly OK.

If it doesn’t sound like much, it is. It’s miraculous.

When we can really be here for the difficult moments of life, we create space to notice what else is there. 

At first we might find curiosity. An openness to seeing what else is in store for us. A willingness to keep trying.

The more we practice creating space for “what else,” the more we start noticing the small miracles that happen around us and within us every day.

That’s where we come alive. 

My small miracle is that I get to pass these practices along to others. 

The world needs this.

There are many ways to create a state of openness to what else is there. What’s yours? Drop me a line to let me know. It truly makes my day to hear back from you. So please, keep it coming. Also, if you know anyone who could benefit from receiving these messages, please forward this email on to them. I want to inspire more people to live a more joyful, creative life. 

With love and support,

Mary B. 

P.S. Join our Journal Doodle Circle, an intentional space for practicing the life-giving skill of noticing and meeting ourselves and others where we are. To sign up or be kept informed of gathering dates, click here. 

P.P.S. Work with me 1:1 to Reignite Your Art and Your Life. If you want to turn your anxiety and insecurity into powerful art or a creative project, I’m here to guide you through. Read more here.