Living On The Edge

I used to think that confidence comes from knowing what the heck you’re doing. So I figured I would wait.

I put off believing in myself. 

I thought, “Just learn a little more, get some life experience, and then you’ll be ready.”

I was wrong. 

Yes, books and life lessons have helped, but they didn’t naturally lead to confidence. 

In fact, I recently had a revelation: people who believe in themselves aren’t magically more capable or wise. They certainly aren’t better people.

The way we feel about ourselves and how important we are comes from early childhood experiences. 

After that, it’s like Velcro: we notice the things that confirm what we already believe.

So, what about the rest of us? Those of us who don’t think we’re all that?

Are we just screwed?

It turns out, no, we’re not!

So, here’s the second part of my revelation: the rest of us can just choose to believe in ourselves.  

What? It’s a choice? 

Yes, it’s that simple. 

(And that hard. Because: nothing but hot air and good intentions to back us up!)

And guess what? Being confident may not mean you’re a better person, but you sure do feel better. 

And it's a lot more fun. Less second-guessing, more showing up.

Looking back, I realize my younger, less-confident self wasn’t missing anything. She was just… young! She thought not knowing was a flaw, but maybe it was simply somewhere to start? 

Maybe we don’t need to know anything. We just need to be curious enough to find out. 

I wish my younger self had understood this.

I wish she had known that if you wait to be ready you’ll never do anything. Nothing fun, anyway.

But I know it now and I’ve been applying it to painting. Every time I pick up a brush, it’s an experiment. I have no idea where it’s going, but (as I’ve said a million times before) that’s the best part!

Art has a way of nudging me to the edge of what feels possible - and then dares me to take another step. 

And, yes, that voice that used to make me shrink still chimes in sometimes:

• “Who do you think you are?”

• “This isn’t going anywhere.”

• “What’s the point?”

But these days, when I hear it, I smile. 

These days when I hear it, I know I’m on the right track. 

So, if you’re looking for your growing edge, do some art! It’ll take you there in a hurry. 

It will take you right up to and beyond where you think you can go, or thought you would want to go, or - heaven forbid - where you think you “should” go (hint: that's a dead end!).

What if, instead of holding back, we gave ourselves permission to be beginners, to explore, to play? Not for any grand reason, but just to see where it might lead. 

What if we lived our life this way? 

No plan, just curiosity and wonder. 

Wouldn’t it be great? 

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What about you? Where is your growing edge? How do you explore it? Are you confident enough to go beyond it? Drop me a line to tell me about it. It truly makes my day to connect with you!